Losing your memory now
by AbigailKinney4life
Summary: It's been ten years since Dean was sent to hell and now Sam is hunting the Leviathan's alone, Sam knows he isn't doing so well without Dean when he has to ask Crowley for help. One-shot and what if? fic x


Losing your memory now

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters, they belong to their respective owners.

A/N: I was watching some random episodes of season three and this idea suddenly occured to me, it's not a very nice one but when the idea was in my head I just had to explore it. What would have happened if Dean had stayed in hell? This story is set ten years after "No rest for the wicked" and a lot of the events that took place in the series have taken place, for example, in this story there are Leviathans and Crowley. But I've tweeked the story a little bit so that it's Demon blood that kills Leviathans, I know in the actual show it doesn't. This is a one shot and a what if? fic, I hope you guys enjoy, reviews much appreciated x

P.S, the title of this fic was inspired by the song "Losing your memory" by Ryan Star, and I do not own that song x

Sam POV

When I thought that the world couldn't get any more evil suddenly the Leviathans broke out of purgatory. It had been three years since they'd first escaped and we'd only just found out how to kill them, until this point we'd been using the "cut the head off and seperate the body" method, which is very effective, but not the best method in the world.

No, but thanks to extensive research from Bobby and myself we finally have the answer, it took long enough.

Demon blood.

Demon blood kills Leviathans, it's almost ironic. If a Leviathan ingests Demon blood then it dies, so I guess that's the plan then.

We have one tracked down, well, actually, I guess I have one tracked down now. Even after all these years I forget I'm hunting alone, but I try not to think about that, it makes me lose focus, so I'm less likely to get the job done. I know I wasn't always this focused on work and hunting, and know how okay I used to feel , but feeling okay isn't important anymore, it's damn near impossible.

What is importnat right now is to kill this Leviathan before it kills anyone else, and that means I need Demon blood, a thing I had sworn to myself I would never go near again, but I had no choice. I never have a choice. I need it, but hopefully this time it will be the Leviathan drinking it and not me.

But the only way to get Demon blood means I have to do something I really don't wanna do.

I stood back from the symbols drawn onto the floor after I finished the incantation, and waited frustratedly for my summoning ritual to work. After about a minute of waiting I watched as a man materialised infront of me. This man was slightly plump with dark hair and wearing a dark suit, and he was wearing a smug grin that I knew all too well.

"Sam," said Crowley in greeting, "any particular reason you summoned me? I have got a very busy schedule, you know."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the pompous Demon, if I had my way I'd just leave now but he's the king of hell, meaning Crowley is the one I've got to talk to.

"I need your help," I told him, cutting straight to it.I didn't have time for small talk nowadays.

"Oh, you need my help?" Crowley insisted, "well then, Sam, what can I do you for?"

"I need a Demon." I replied stiffly.

"A Demon?" Asked Crowley, looking more than slightly confused.

"May I ask what for?"

I tried not to huff, I had explained about the Demon blood to so many people I thought could help me I thought I might have to kill the next person who asked me.

"Because I know what kills Leviathans." I told him against my better judgement.

"You do?" Asked Crowley, sounding more than a little interested. "Do tell."

"It's the blood of a Demon," I told him, "all I need is a Demon to co-operate with me and I can kill the Leviathan I'm tracking now."

"And you can definately kill it?" Aked the king of hell.

"Yes." I repeated for the millionth time, exasperated.

Crowley looked at me for a long time and then finally opened his mouth to reply. "Alright, then." He said, and I tried not to look as relieved as I felt.

"I'll give you a fully co-operative Demon, just because I want you to kill the bloody things."

"Thank you," I told him, "just give me a few days to find someone who is in a coma or something and then send the Demon."

"Alright," said Crowley, "give me a bell when you're ready." And with that, he dissappeared down into the ground.

As soon as he had left I ran my hand through my hair, I didn't like this at all, it just felt wrong asking Crowley for help, I know Dean never would have done it. But what choice did I have?

I was so tired, but I couldn't sleep. I slid wearily into the drivers side of the Impala and started the ignition, now I had to find the nearest hospital and find some kind of vessel for this Demon Crowley was sending.

...

NORTH SUNRISE HOSPITAL, KANSAS

This is the 7th hospital I've been to, this little quest of mine has actually led me back home. I just need to find one person, but I almost have hope here. This morning I picked up a newspaper with a promising headline. It was a story about a man with no consciousness but with a fully-functional body, almost exactly like Ruby. I almost shuddered when I thought about Ruby, I didn't want to think about that bitch and everything she'd made me do, I'm almost glad Dean wasn't around to see my addiction...

I didn't want to think about that, I really didn't want to think about that.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Alex Stephens." I said, flashing my fake I.D, "I'm here to run a diagnosis on...Patient 4." I said, angling my head down to the paperwork I'd stolen to read his designation.

"Of course," said the receptionist, getting up from behind her desk. "If you'd like to follow me, Doctor." She said kindly, "I'll take you to him."

"Thank you," I thanked the woman, falling into pace behind her. As we walked through the hospital I vagually wondered how many reapers there were that I just couldn't see.

The woman soon lead me into a room with a single bed, and lying in that bed in a hospital gown was an unconcious man in his early thirties, he had sun-dyed hair and straight features, I almost felt saddened that the man hadn't got a chance at life.

"Here we go," said the receptionist, "if you need anything, Doctor, just call."

"Thank you,." I repeated and gave her a small smile as she left the room. Checking I was definately alone I quickly disabled the CCTV camera's in the room, now knowing that I didn't have much time. I spared one final glance at the unconcious man before quickly drawing out the symbols of the summoning ritual onto the floor.

"Ah, you've found someone!" Said Crowley as soon as he had materialised in the room.

"I don't have much time," I told him, "I need a Demon!"

"And a Demon you have." Crowley told me before disappearing again.

"Wha...?" But before I could even finish my sentence, I saw billowing black smoke seemingly leaking from the floor, it spiralled upwards almost elegantly before very forceably shoving itself into the man's body through the mouth.

I watched, half-disgusted, when the man suddenly sat bolt upright and opened his eyes, they were pitch black.

Now I had a Demon to deal with.

The Demon stretched it's neck out a few times before blinking, and it's eyes reverted back to normal, they were a pale green.

"You must be Sam." Said the Demon pleasantly.

"Err...yeah," I answered, pretty unsure of what to say. "Err...whats your name?"

"I don't have one." The Demon told me, "I don't think I need one."

"Um, okay." I said, trying not to sound as confused as I felt. "I brought you some clothes." I told him dumbly, handing him the duffel bag I had brought with me. It didn't even bother to thank me as it took the bag and began to lazily sift through the clothes I had absent-mindedly thrown in there earlier.

"So," began the Demon, "why has Crowley ordered that I fully co-operate with you? You don't look that important."

I rolled my eyes, rude must just be in Demon job description.

"I need to kill a Leviathan." I told it, annoyed at having to repeat myself once again. Crowley could have at least filled it in.

"And I need your blood for it, I'm not gonna kill you," I assured the Demon, "I just need you to co-operate with me."

The Demon shrugged slightly. "Leviathan? Never heard of it."

"There creatures from purgatory," I explained, "and I need to get rid of them." I really needed to get rid of them.

...

Once the Demon was dressed we sneaked out of the hospital from the back, I didn't want to be around to have the real Doctors find out that there patient woke up. I hailed a cab and gave it directions to the motel I was staying at, I figured the Impala would be too conspicuous.

"Lets get one thing straight," I began as soon as we were in the motel room. "You do exactly as I say or I'll exercise you and send you straight back to hell."

"Okay," said the Demon, sounding faintly bored, and with that, he sat down on one of the beds.

"Err...okay," I repeated, fishing my phone from my pocket I quickly dialled Bobby's number and held my phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bobby!" I exclaimed as soon as he answered, "I spoke to Crowley like you said."

"What did he say?"

"I have a Demon with me now." I said, sparing a quick glance to the very bored looking man staring absent-mindedly at the floor.

"And is he behaving?" Asked Bobby, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, so far, apparently Crowley made him swear to be fully co-operative."

"Well, we can't trust Crowley either."

"I know that Bobby, but Crowley wants these things dead as much as we do, besides, this is the only hope we've got."

"Well, you're right about that one," Bobby agreed wearily, "I think I've finally tracked the son of a bitch down, anyhow."

"Really?" I asked, feeling the first glimmer of hope in a long time. "Great, we'll be right over."

"Alright," said Bobby, before hanging up.

"Come on," I told the Demon while I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Where are we going?" Asked the Demon, standing up.

"To a friends," I told him, "we think we've found the Leviathan."

The Demon sighed audiably but followed me out of the door, I lead him to where I had parked the Impala and got into the drivers side, he followed suit and got into the passengers side. We didn't speak at all on the way to Bobby's but I kept an eye on him. About ten minutes into the journey I realised that the Demon was kind of...twitching. I looked over to realise that the Demon was shifting very uncomfortably in his seat, like he had an itch or something. I didn't say anything but I wanted to. I didn't want any sudden movement out of this guy, you can't trust Demon's, I learnt that lesson the hard way.

The Demon then reached a hand out and I nearly went for my gun, but before I could I saw that he was touching the dashboard, not for any reason, he'd just placed his hand carefully on the dashboard. I looked at his face and he looked confused, really confused. Maybe he'd never seen a car before?

"What is it?" I asked finally.

"Nice car." Said the Demon simply, not looking at me.

"Thanks." I said awkwardly, not expecting the comment. "It was my brothers."

Why did I say that? I felt my mind flicker with pain for a long moment. When I finally looked back at the Demon, he simply looked at me. "Was it?" He said simply and completely pleasantly, before turning his head away and staring out of the window.

I turned back to the road, feeling more than slightly perplexed. How did I manage to end up with such a strange Demon?

...

Bobby was uncomfortable having a Demon in his house, that was glaringly obvious. Although Bobby didn't make a big deal out of it. He knew how important it was for us to kill this Leviathan and pissing off the one thing that could help us wouldn't be the best move. But the Demon wasn't...well, I don't want to say "that bad," I mean, sure he's a bit rude and an evil Demon but he was just following Crowley's orders and being co-operative. I had to hand it to him, he could have killed us by now...or died trying.

"Bobby, the Demon isn't gonna hurt us." I assured him in a hushed whisper.

"It's not that," Bobby whispered back, "it just looks like he's staring at me funny."

"Yeah, he's a...strange Demon." I told him, before turning back to the aforementioned Demon and addressing both of them.

"So, Bobby, have you had any luck with those hellhounds yet?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from the Demon.

"Not really." Answered Bobby, sounding downbeat.

"Hellhounds?" Asked the Demon, sounding half-interested, half-confused.

"The Leviathan we're hunting somehow got hold of some hellhounds..." I explained, "he keeps setting them on our tail every change he gets."

"I can kill them." Said the Demon confidently, without a pause for thought. When he caught sight of mine and Bobby's confused facial expressions he explained further. "I've had experience with hellhounds."

I shook my head slightly as if to clear it and then turned back to Bobby. "So...you think you've got the Leviathan?" I asked.

"Well, I called a few people who owe me a favour and I've tracked him down to South Dakota." Bobby informed us.

"South Dakota?" I repeated, "Bobby you're a genius! We can actually get this guy now."

"Don't get too excited," continued Bobby, "we don't exactly have the element of surprise."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

Bobby shook his head slightly. "The Leviathan was too easy to track," he explained. "And that more than likely mean's that he's waiting for you."

"Thanks for the head's up, Bobby." I said, touching the man's arm.

"Just don'tmnget yourself killed." He replied sarcastically, and I almost laughed.

"Well, are we going to move, then?" The Demon asked, and I was suddenly aware of his presence again. He'd been so quiet that I'd forgotten he was there.

"Yeah." I said, "come on, lets get back to the car."

And without a word to Bobby, the Demon walked straight out the door and in the direction of the parked Impala. But before I could follow I felt Bobby's hand on my shoulder, keeping me back.

"Sam, I want you to remember that you cannot trust that Demon," Bobby warned in a foreboding voice. "Or Crowley, you need to keep your guard up."

"I know that, Bobby." I told him, although I was glad at his concern. "But, you' no, I gues the Demon isn't all...that bad."

...

"You took your time!" The Demon called out when I reached the Impala, "I thought you'd died."

"Very funny." I said under my breath, getting the car keys from my pocket. But before I could find them, a low growl came from behind me, stopping me in my tracks.

"Hellhound." Said the Demon instantly, I guess he must have instantly recognised the noise. "I can see them. Sam, don't mov..."

But before he could finish his warning I had turned around and I felt a large, searing pain down my chest as I watched a claw mark appear in blood through my shirt, I shouted out in agony when I suddenly felt the invisible force pulled from my chest and out of the corner of my eye I saw the Demon tackling with what looked like thin air, I watched as a slither of black smoke leaked from his mouth and coiled around what I could only imagine to be the hellhound, after some more heavy snarling the noise subdued altogether and the black smoke returned to the Demon, he stood up slowly and turned to me, face pink from the fight.

"It's dead." Said the Demon finally, getting it's breath back.

"I didn't know Demon's could kill hellhounds." I said, breathing heavily.

The Demon merely shrugged. "I learnt a lot, are you okay?"

"Err...I think so." I looked down to my sliced stomach and in all honesty it looked worse than it felt, I'd make it back to the motel.

...

"Why are we going back to that motel?" The Demon asked as we pulled into the motel car park. "I thought we had to go to South Dakota."

"I need to get some stitches for my chest." I told him incredulously, or maybe he hadn't noticed the blood drying on my shirt?

I looked to see the Demon chuckling slightly to himself. "Human vulnerablity." He said simply, like it was the worlds funniest joke. I shook my head in disbelief.

The Demon sat on the bed again as I got all the things I'd need to stitch myself up, I'd decided on the journey back that it would take too long going to the emergency room. Without even thinking, I took off my shirt and began to slowly stitch myself up, it hurt a lot but I didn't make any noise, not like Dean used to, he was such a complainer...I felt myself shudder again, I had to stop thinking about it or I was gonna drive myself insane, or more insane.

About halfway through my stitches I had a funny feeling, like someone was watching me. So I instinctively turned to the only other person in the room. And he was staring at me, well, staring at my chest, at my stitching?

"What? Have you never seen a cut before?" I asked, in an attempt to get him to look away, he was making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

The Demon didn't answer, he just looked away. Confused, I looked down at my own chest, the cut wasn't really that bad, definately not bad enough to catch attention. Before I could avert my head, I caught a glimpse of Dean's amulet, the one I'd given him for christmas when we were just kids. I wore it all the time now, I guess it made me feel close to him. I stopped stitching for a minute and just let the sadness flow.

...

"Well, if you're done sewing yourself up can we find this Leviathan?" Said the Demon impatiently, and for some reason I wanted to grin. "Come on," the Demon continued, "I have things to do." I rolled my eyes and followed him out to the Impala.

It was a long drive to south Dakota and neither of us said a word, I tried to fill the awkward void with music but that only lasted so long, in what felt like hours later, I finally entered the state.

"How are we supposed to find a Leviathan in an entire state?" I asked rhetorically.

"I can smell him." Said the Demon simply, staring out of the window.

I blew out my cheeks. "You can do a lot for a Demon." I stated.

The Demon then turned to me. "Why do you think Crowley sent me?" He said with a cocky grin that I felt like I recognised from somewhere.

So, following the Demon's nose, we eventually found an abandoned warehouse in a back-street alley.

"He's in there." Said the Demon confidently, pointing to the warehouse.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, and he just turned to me and raised an eyebrow. "Okay," I said, annoyed.

We got out of the car and walked to the door of the warehouse. "You need to feed him some of your blood." I told the Demon.

"That easy," he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Quietly, we stepped into the warehouse carefully, trying not to make noise. I held my gun low, at the ready. I was about to mutter instructions to the Demon when suddenly, two burly men came up behind us and we only just moved out of the way in time.

"They must be possessed!" I shouted to the Demon, he turned quickly on his heel and grabbed the gun from my hand before I could protest and shot both of the men, they both collapsed to the floor and the Demon held my gun out to me.

"They were people!" I half-shouted, completely shocked.

"Yeah, I'm a Demon, that means I don't care." The Demon reminded me, and for a second I couldn't believe that I had forgot. But before I could open my mouth to say anything I was beaten by another voice.

"You shouldn't have come, Sam." The voice said, and I turned immediately to see the Leviathan smiling at me. "But I'm glad you did." He said, before I felt reality slipping away as I fell into unconciousness.

...

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up, I looked around and didn't recognise the room I was in. "You're awake." A voice said, and I turned on my heel to see the Leviathan on the other side of the room, and the Demon next to him, as I walked closer to them I saw that the Demon was stuck in a Devil's trap, I momentarily wondered why I was not bound.

"You 'no, Sam-" began the Leviathan. "It took you long enough to figure out how to kill me." He sounded almost dissappointed.

He turned to the Demon, who simply looked quite bored.

"Demons," said the Leviathan, "it's almost ironic, isn't it?" He said, turning back to me. "And almost shameful, to know a Leviathan can be killed by a Human."

"W..What?" I asked, confused.

"Well, all Demon's were Human's once, were'nt they, Sam? Or didn't you know that?" He asked when he saw my confused expression.

"Wait..." I began, "all Demons...were Human?" I asked, unable to process the thought.

"Yes," said the Leviathan, "it's embarressing to know that something that was once a silly mortal could kill us."

"Well then why are Demon's so evil if they were Human?" I asked.

"Because they forget their humanity." The Leviathan said simply.

"You don't just forget your humanity." I said.

"Well, hell does drive you mad." Said the Leviathan, "Demon's are funny little things though, some of them remember, I mean, not completely, but little things can trigger their memory, or evoke certain emotions, which I suppose is just all the more confusing for them. But, you know, it really all depends on the type of Human they were when they were alive."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, confused.

"Because hell isn't the only thing that can drive a person mad." Said the Leviathan, and I could practically hear the evil seeping out into his voice.

"You, Sam Winchester," he continued, pointing to me. "You have been hunting and basically killing my kind for years, and now, I finally have a chance to destroy you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, thinking maybe the Leviathan was crazy.

"I can bring it back, I can bring it all back."

Before I could say anything, the Leviathan curled his hand and suddenly a blinding light emitted from him and hit the Demon squarely in the chest, the Demon screamed out from agony and keeled over as the light entered him. When it finally stopped the Demon was breathing heavily and on his knees. When he eventually gathered the strength to look back up, I saw that his eyes were pitch black, but his face was contorted with pain, and fear.

"What...what did you do to him?" I asked the Leviathan desperately.

"I made him remember." The Leviathan grinned.

"Do you... do you remember being a Human?" I asked the Demon, and he simply dipped his head again and muttered, "yes."

I turned back to the Leviathan, fearing my head may burst from the amount of confusion I was feeling.

"How is this supposed to "destroy" me?" I asked him. But the Leviathan didn't answer me, he just laughed.

"You...you told me how to kill him?" The Demon asked me shakily.

"Err..yeah, yeah I did." I said gently, not sure how to approach him.

The Demon then looked up to me, it's eyes still inky black. "It's gonna be okay, Sammy. It's all gonna be okay."

My entire world crashed around my ears as the realisation dawned on me agonizingly slowly, I didn't know what to think, or whether to scream or throw-up.

"Dean...?...no...no..." I said shakily, stumbling back from the shock, I could feel the tears streaming down my face but that didn't matter.

I heard the Leviathan laugh again. "You know, I almost wish I could stay and watch you fall victim to your own insanity, now my kind finally has the revenge it deserves." Then the Leviathan left the room but I couldn't have cared less if he'd stayed and killed me, I couldn't stop staring at...well, I didn't know what I was staring at.

"I'm sorry, Sam." He said dismally, not looking at me. I slowly walked to him.

"Is it...really you?"

"What's left of me." He replied. "I...haven't been Human for a very long time."

"How long have you been...you know?" I asked carefully.

"Coming up to 400 years." He told me, and I could almost feel my heart get ripped from my chest. "Oh...God..." I was unsure of what to say, of what to do, of what to think.

"Oh, man..." Dean practically whimpered, "I'm a...I'm a...I'm a God Damn Demon...Oh my God..."

"Dean...I am so sorry..."

"Sam...stop," said Dean, and I could see tears falling from his face, "I...I don't think I'm your brother anymore."

...

We subconciously made it back to the Impala and when I saw it I suddenly remembered something.

"You recognised the Impala, didn't you?" I asked him, mind filled with the image of the Demon touching the dashboard and looking confused.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, no emotion in his voice.

"And Bobby!" I remembered, "you were staring at Bobby!"

"And the necklace," Dean pointed out, "I saw you were wearing it when you were stitching yourself up."

"So...what do we do now?" I asked.

He turned to me, Dean, the Demon and the other body, but he still retained his Demon eyes, it seemed like he couldn't get rid of them. "We kill the son of a bitch."

...

Dean didn't want to drive, he said he didn't trust himself.

As we drove, I almost felt like I might pass out, he was right next to me, Dean was there...but he was a Demon...oh my God, he was a Demon...that's my brother...or is it my brother...? Oh God Dean, I'm so sorry...

Dean suddenly sat bolt upright.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I can smell him!" Dean exclaimed.

"The Leviathan?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Dean answered, "he's in that house!"

I followed the direction Dean was pointing to and saw the large country manor. We parked across the road and I opened the trunk and got my gun, I stopped for a minute, and slowly passed Dean his. Dean tentatively took his gun in his hand and stared at it for a moment. "You kept it?" He said.

"Yeah.." I said awkwardly.

After that, I picked the lock and we snuck slowly into the manor, as we walked through one of the corridors Dean stopped me.

"So, what, do you want me to sneak up on him or...?"

"No." I said, "I want to talk to him."

"Sam..." said Dean alarmed.

"Dean, I have to do this." I told him, still weary of his dark eyes. Dean stared at me for a long moment but then nodded slowly.

"You've really got on well without me." He said, "that's a good thing, Sam. I'm glad you're okay."

I just smiled slightly, I couldn't bring myself to tell Dean how much I'd suffered without him.

...

"Leviathan!" I called out, angry. "Show yourself! I swear to god, I'm going to kill you!"

"Well thats not very good incentive to show myself, is it?" Said the Leviathan from behind me, both Dean and I turned on our heels to see the Leviathan standing with his hands behind his back.

"Are you here to kill me again?" He asked lazily.

Before I could open my mouth, Dean beat me to it.

"No!" He shouted, walking forwards.

"Dean, what are you doing?" I shouted.

"I'm pledging my loyalty," Dean spoke to the Leviathan, "I'm not going to kill you."

"Good boy, Dean." The Leviathan smiled.

"What the hell are you doing?" I repeated, unable to believe what I was seeing.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Said Dean, or what was left of him, and I could hear the genuine anguish in his voice. "But I'm a Demon, I have to do what I can to survive."

"You're more clever than I thought, Dean." The Leviathan told him, "now lets see if you really mean it...I want you to kill Sam."

"Dean!" I said immediately before he could react. "Err..err...Crowley isn't gonna be happy about this!"

Dean chuckled slightly. "Screw Crowley, there's no way I'm going back to hell!" And with that, he advanced on me and pulled a knife from his coat pocket.

"Dean, please...you don't know what you're doing..." I begged, backing away.

"You just don't understand, do you?" Dean said, "I don't think like Dean anymore, he used to protect you? Well not me, I'm gonna kill you, you little bitch."

And I had no idea what inspired me to say it, but as soon as Dean had stopped talking I said; "Jerk."

And then everything stopped.

It was like time had frozen, and Dean was just staring at me. Staring right at me like I was the only thing in the world...and then just like that...his eyes cleared. They were no longer the permanent black they had been before, they were the pale green of the man Dean was "possessing" , and the look in his eyes made me want to cry, and I suddenly remembered the Leviathan's words from earlier..."some of them remember, but it really depends on what type of Human they were when they were alive..."

Then, as quick as lightening, Dean turned on his heel and sliced the blade through his own arm, and threw himself at the Leviathan with enough momentum to knock them both to the ground. In the midst of the commotion, Dean must have forced his blood down the throat of the Leviathan because suddenly, he started to weeze and keel and the same light that attacked Dean began to pour from him, Dean stood to his feet and watched as the life left the Leviathan.

"Sorry, buddy," he said, "but he's my brother."

And when certain the Leviathan was dead, Dean turned back to me.

"You...you saved me." I exclaimed incredulously.

He simply shrugged. "That's what Crowley ordered me to do."

I stared at him, confused. "Dean...?"

This time, he looked confusedly back at me. "Dean? Who's that? I told you I don't have a name, you haven't decided to name me, have you? I know what you Humans are like."

I was very confused for a long moment, until I suddenly realised what had happened and felt that all too familiar sadness, like I had just lost Dean all over again...well, I had.

"It was the Leviathan's life force that brought your memories back," I said as I recalled the same light leaving the Leviathan as he died. "So when the Leviathan died..." I continued sadly, not even sure why I was saying this aloud, "...your memories must have died with it." And with this, I suddenly had no strength in my body, not even enough to cry.

I looked weakly up to the Demon that was my brother and he was staring at me as if I should be wearing a straight-jacket.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he told me bluntly, "but now the Leviathan is dead, I'd like to get back to hell." And with that, he turned to walk away, but before he could, I held out a hand to stop him.

"Wait," I said softly, and as soon as he turned back I pulled him into a tight embrace like I never wanted to let him go, and that was probably because I didn't.

"I am so sorry, Dean," I half-cried, "and I just want you to know that no matter what you remember, and no matter what you are...you will always be my brother. And I will always, love you."

As soon as I had forced myself to let him go, he was giving me the same straight-jacket look.

"You are crazy, Sam. But I quite like you," and with that, he turned away again and began to walk. "Oh, and look after that car." He called over his shoulder to me before the black smoke seeped from his body and dissappeared into the ground, and the lifeless pale-green eyed body fell to the floor.

As soon as it had the tears I thought I'd never cry fell down my face and I collapsed onto my knees.

"I'm sorry, Dean." I sobbed to no one but myself. "I would do anything to take your place...you didn't deserve what Dad gave you...you didn't deserve a life as a hunter...and you didn't deserve to go to hell."


End file.
